Atria
First story in the Atria Series.
It was the way she laid while she slept. She faced away from me. The nape of her neck was exposed, caressed to sleep by sweat curled baby hairs. She wore the thinnest of shirts, the moonlight yawned through it creating a silhouette whose curves rivaled that of any hand-crafted guitar. Even in her sleep she swam through silk water, her hand grasping at waves that formed with her shallow breathing. Her bare hip created an island in the sheets, her legs stretching out only to thin and disappear into the dark borders of the bed. She was my destination, I could reach out and run my fingers over her. Never really touching but watching the tiny hairs rise as if they were aware of my presence.
She was mine.
-•-
1000. White door. 993. White door. 986. White door. 979. Blue door.
I pushed the key into the door, twisting it open.
​
“I’m back.” The door clicked behind me.
“Hey, babe,” she yelled out as I slipped off my shoes, “How was work?”
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I took a moment to place my bag and coat away in the closet, only then turning and replying;
“Fine,” it was always just fine but she never asked why. I headed to the kitchen and jabbed her sides as a greeting. She didn’t turn, there was something on the stove.
“I washed today, your clothes are on the bed.”
“Thanks,” I said, peeking over her shoulder as I loosened my tie. Pasta, “It smells great.”
“I know; I’m really excited to try it.”
Her focus remained on the stove as I headed to the bedroom.
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I pulled a clean shirt over my head and walked back to the kitchen. She was stretched upwards, pulling dishes from the cabinet.
I grabbed the remote, “What do you want to watch?”
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“There’s a new episode of Bates Motel,” she replied still facing away.
I skimmed through the shows and found it quickly, “Episode 5?”
“Yeah,” she said, placing the plates on the coffee table.
“What do you want to drink?” I asked heading towards the kitchen.
“Whatever you want.”
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I walked back with two glasses and set them down. We sat there eating quietly as the neon blue sign lit up on the screen.
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“This is good.”
“You like it? I made it Vegan today.”
“This is Vegan?” I looked at my plate.
“Yup, now shush I want to watch.”
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We kept watching for a while, I followed along. It was easy to get the gist.
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I took the dishes to the kitchen and she followed, taking a batter filled tray and sliding it into the oven.
We walked back to the couch together and she grabbed all the pillows throwing them on the floor. She settled in the makeshift nest and I joined, placing an arm on the couch behind her. Her eyes were wide, as if she thought by widening them she’d capture the essence of the show. The poor pillow was suffocated in her arms as she focused intently on the episode.
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I watched her for a few minutes and saw her eyes grow wider.
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“WAIT WAIT PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE!” She was trying to grab the remote.
I paused, “What?”
“Sorry,” she was covering her face now, “It was just so cute!”
“What was?”
“The way he hugged her!”
“That’s what you were screaming about?” I chuckled, she always became overly immersed in what she was watching. Even at the theater, I’d catch her, sometimes, with her face in her hands blushing at characters who failed to exist.
“Yes. Now play, I want to see what happens,” she tried grabbing the remote. I held it away from her.
“Give it to me.”
“No.”
She sat back, “Why?”
“Why do girls always do that,” I was imitating her now, “OMG, THAT’S LIKE SO CUTE!”
“Shut up! It is cute.”
“But why?”
“Because…they make it seem so real. Like something that could actually happen.”
She was facing the screen again; her eyes no longer neon blue.
“What if I did that?” She made a face.
I continued, “What would you do?”
“I would hide because it signifies the beginning of the apocalypse.”
“That hurts,” I said placing a hand over my heart.
“I ran out of band aids, sorry.”
​
The sound of the television filled the room once more. She had cocooned herself in the crook of my arm. The pillows never left her side: she had shared one with me. The show had ended but she hadn’t moved. She was asleep, I nudged her and she hummed.
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“Wake up sleepy head.”
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Her eyes opened lightly but then began closing. I nudged her again and this time her eyes stayed open. She looked at the screen then up at me. She pushed herself upright and rubbed her eyes with small fists. She leaned against the couch cradling her head in her hand. All she did was smile with the corners of her mouth.
I kissed her. I had to. I was planning on a quick peck but she pulled me in and held me there. And just like that it was over and she was walking back to the kitchen. She had started to play. I walked up behind her, and placed my hands on either side of her waist.
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“Hey Beautiful.”
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I could almost imagine her eyes rolling, “What?”
​
Her hands held a mug as she pulled away placing it in the coffee maker. She flicked the machine on then turned with a hand on her hip.
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“You want one?”
“Nah.”
She was facing the machine again.
“Are you coming here tomorrow?”
“I’m not sure yet,” I replied.
“How long will you be gone?”
“A few days maybe.”
“Mm, okay.” She went over the refrigerator and grabbed the milk.
“I’m here now.” I twisted the cap onto the milk and placed it back into the refrigerator. She was looking at me over the rim of the mug.
“Don’t be mad,” I said.
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She held the mug away from her face, “I’m not mad, just tired.”
“Are you sure?” I leaned in slightly.
“Yes.”
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She held the mug in front of her and stood perfectly still. My hands were on either side planted firmly on the counter behind her, “Tell me why you’re mad.”
​
“I’m not mad.”
“I can’t do anything if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong,” she sighed heavily,” my boss was being an ass today so I’m tired.”
“Is that all?”
“Yes, now drop it.”
​
She pushed past me and went over to the sink. The water was running and bubbles spewed from the mug. I didn’t move for a moment. The sweater she wore was too big on her and she had to pull her sleeves up so they wouldn’t get wet. The fabric dipped by her neck and I could see inked skin where her ponytail parted on either side of her neck.
​
She was almost done washing the rest of the night’s dishes when I stood next to her.
​
“Hey gorgeous.”
She glanced at me, “What?”
“Nothing.”
​
She finished the last dish and before she could run from me again I scooped her up and headed down the hall.
​
“Put me down! I’m going to fall,” she said while grabbing at my shirt.
“You said you were tired.”
The bed had been made, I threw her on it. She rolled around giggling along the way. I watched from the foot of the bed. She kneeled and fixed her hair before giving me a sly smile.
​
“Come here.” Her arms were open and she walked on her knees over to me.
“Hi,” she whispered.
​
We were locked together. I brushed away a stray hair before letting my hand rest on the small of her back. She smelled amazing, it was almost euphoric. We said nothing. The oven spoke for us.
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“Oh, the brownies are done!” She slid off the bed and I watched her disappear into the hallway.
She was placing the tray on the table, “Get the ice cream from the fridge please.”
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I set the ice cream down and watched her place a brownie square and creamy snowball in each bowl.
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“Here,” she said handing me one.
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We sat on the stools of the kitchen island and said nothing for a few minutes.
​
“I brought something for you today.”
“Really? What?” She seemed slightly surprised, like she thought I would have forgotten the date.
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I didn’t respond opting to grab the item instead. I pulled my bag from the hallway closet and returned to the table. I opened it and pulled out a small package covered in brown wax paper.
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“Here.”
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She took it delicately peeling off the sticker and wrapping. Her eyes were always alive, they always reflected me. Her jaw trembled and her mouth paused. She looked up and then back down, eyebrows twitching towards each other.
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“Where did you get this?”
“I asked a friend of mine for a favor.”
“How much was it?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“This looks really expensive.” Her bottom lip was gone; her teeth had captured it.
“Try it on.”
She hesitated, “Okay.”
​
Grabbing my hand, she took me into the bedroom. She handed it to me and faced the mirror twisting her hair up in the process. I walked up behind her opening the golden clasp. I placed it around her neck and closed it.
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“I’m done.”
She let her hair fall and reached up to touch the small Eyris pearl that rested on her neck. Our eyes met through the mirror, I hugged her pressing my cheek into her hair. She turned to me and pushed me onto the bed.
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“I have something for you too.”
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She turned and left the room. I looked down into my hands and rubbed white line that had burned itself onto my finger over the years.
She walked back through the door and held out her hands. She held a small box towards me.
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“Open it.”
I did as she said and now it was my turn to be surprised. The watch glinted in the bedroom light and slowly ticked its hand brushing past a series of delicate indentations. I had seen this face before.
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“Did you design this?”
“I did.”
“Thank you.”
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I slipped it on and she admired it. Stepping towards me she stood there shyly looking away. She entwined her hands with mine but I wrapped my arms around her waist trapping her there. I almost couldn’t bear looking at her, the bedroom light blinded her face from mine as if she was the moon that reflected the rays of the sun. I let go and her hands were immediately on my shoulders. They moved closer and played with the collar of my shirt. She had a change of heart and tried walking from me once more, I grabbed her arm gently and walked her back against the wall. My face sought hers and she played with the edge of my shirt. We were together now, her arm slid behind my neck and our clothes became forgotten.
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The covers slipped off of her like water and she walked through them on her way to the restroom. Her back was exposed, thick black lines trailed upwards to her neck. She disappeared through the door and I lay there staring up at the ceiling where creatures lurked and shadows were eaten.
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I got up and put on a pair of sweats heading back to the kitchen. I cut another brownie square.
​
“You’re eating another one?” She asked.
“I’m hungry.” She grabbed the knife and sliced herself a piece.
“Isn’t that my shirt?” I questioned.
​
“You left it here a while ago, it’s my shirt now.” She walked back to the bedroom, teasing me along the way. I followed and leaned against the doorframe. She was lying on the bed, sprawled out like a model during a photoshoot.
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“I love this bed.” She said.
“I love you.”
​
She didn’t say anything. Her face became serious for a second before she let it relax again.
​
“I love you when you’re in this bed.” She retorted.
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I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. She looked at me with a kind of irritated look only a child could muster.
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“Come here.” She stretched her arms out to me, but it was my turn to look at her seriously. She sat up and crossed her legs.
“What’s wrong?”
“Doesn’t it tire you out?” I asked.
“What?”
“This.”
“Not really, I think it’s fun.” She stated casually.
“You don’t feel bad?”
“No. I don’t really care.”
“Do you miss me?” I asked.
She sighed, “I can’t see you when I want.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
I slid onto the bed next to her,
“I’m tired.” I said.
“Me too.”
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She laid down next to me, slipping into the crook of my arm. Her arm lay over my stomach and I could feel her nodding off. She looked up at me through dew kissed lashes and hesitated before asking,
“Will you be here when I wake up?”
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I saw through her, all that existed were those clear eyes that reflected colors like a still ocean and the necklace that pulsed with every breath of the sea. My hand slipped around her face and stayed there. She smiled, it was a twitch of her mouth and pressed her face into my hand. She knew. She had won this game we played every time we met. She was the only player that reached this level, my vows to anyone else were severed with a single glance of her washed-out eyes. I wanted to stay here. She had captured me. I was the dragon that resided in the hollow caverns of the underworld: her world. I was wrong. I was hers.
​
“Yeah,” he replied.
​
She fell asleep and he watched the ceiling. The creatures multiplied and peeled away from the ceiling surrounding him. They nagged and nagged and nagged. He closed his eyes. It wouldn’t stop. He thought he’d be over the feeling by now but it caught him off guard sometimes, being here with her.
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She rolled away and he looked at her back once more. The shadows surrounded her too, standing on the ink that pooled off her back into the sea he could never hope to cross. His boat had sunk, perhaps he never had one, and he could not reach her. For the last fleeting moments all he could hope to catch was the afterimage of her back and even then she still escaped him. He shushed the creatures and they returned to the ceiling.
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He zipped up his pants and buttoned his shirt. He walked down the hall, collected his bag and coat before lacing his shoes and stepping out.
Blue door. 979. White door. 986. White door. 993. White door. 1000.
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-•-
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The alarm was cooing against the light that permeated the room. I turned over. I could reach her. Like a tree that cast a shadow over the struggling saplings beneath it. She lay there unaware of the rotting vegetation that lay under her shadow, they needed light to survive but she could offer none. She was sturdy and perhaps that’s what I had loved about her. I rolled out her shade and sat still, feeling the tiny hands of the Kudzu brush against me as they entwined themselves through her hollow.
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I turned off the alarm and walked into the bathroom. The watch still ticked but now it reflected a ring in its face. I showered. I shaved. I washed my face. I buttoned my clothes. I slid the ring onto my finger and the watch onto my wrist. I stepped out of the bathroom and headed to the kitchen. She was already waiting for me, coffee in hand. She was always waiting.
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“Thank you.”
“What time did you come home last night?” she said pouring herself a cup.
“I don’t know.”
Her eyes glanced to the watch on my wrist.
“Where did you get that?”
“I bought it a while ago.”
“Really? When? I’ve never seen you wearing it.” She said.
“This is the first time.”
“Oh.” She said reaching for my wrist and inspecting the watch.
She pursed her lips, “Doesn’t really seem like your style.”
I simply shrugged.
She continued, “Well, I like it but tell me next time.”
“I will.”
I was stepping through the door when she came up behind me, “Are you working late today too?”
“I don’t think so, why?”
“Because I miss you,” she tried saying cutely, “and I bought some stuff I wanted to try cooking.”
“I’ll try my best to be home then.”
She looked satisfied with my answer, so I headed towards my car.
“Honey.” She called out.
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
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I looked at her, she no longer radiated. Perhaps she never had. I had vowed to her but all I could think of was the thick black lines that lay in the still sea.
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“Me too.”